Compromising

I recently celebrated my  ½ birthday and I’m now closing in on 26.  Birthday’s used to be a joyous occasion, I got cake and attention, I couldn’t ask for more (except for the birthday gifts I did ask for).  With every passing birthday I learn to let go of things I thought I wanted and hoped to accomplish and come to terms with my increasing mediocrity.  Getting older means forgetting who you thought you’d be and becoming who you are.  For me, a large part of this process revolves around the idea of who I am and what I want out of relationships.  Specifically, what I want in romantic relationships.  In my youth I wanted it all and truly believed I was both capable and deserving of having it (if you are thinking about how I recently posted that I was in fact in the process of having it all, be advised this is a slightly different all).  At 22 I assumed that any man I would involve myself with (whether it be make out with or fall in love with – the latter has yet to happen) would be Disney Prince good looking, Bill Gates rich, Luke Perry bad boy/sexy, Barack Obama smart/ presidential,  Colin Firth British and generally perfect.  At 25.5 I’m letting go of some of these perhaps unrealistic expectations in favor of dating a real live boy and not dying alone surrounded by old take out boxes and pizza crusts (I kid, I would never leave the crust).  In recent years I’ve discarded former “deal breakers” and instead started consider men exhibiting characteristics that I previously abhorred/judged/criticized. I have for you here a list of compromises I'm beginining to realize are necessary if I ever hope to find someone willing to date me in the fashion in which I hope to be accustomed.

• Hair.  Hair, namely hair on one’s head, used to be pretty important to me.  I have really great hair (humble I know) and used to expect that my partner would too.  I imagined taking turns brushing each other’s lustrous hair and then basking in our shared beauty.  Now that I am 25 and essentially knocking on 30’s door, I have to realize that the pool of single men is aging and likely balding.  I don’t know that I would be willing to date someone rocking a combover (not that I’m hating on the combover, my father has had one for the last thirty years and he is still totally dashing, it’s just not my style), but I’m definitely open to meeting and greeting men with male pattern baldness.  
• Body fat.  As a girl I am sadly familiar with the calorie content of pretty much any food that is mildly tasty or desirable.  I am well acquainted with more than one weight watchers points system and no stranger to fad diets.  Basically it is a girls job to be crazy about food and want to be skinny.  Boys not so much.  And as age and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle set in there is the potential for weight gain.   I’m okay with this.  In fact I secretly kind of like it.  If you are fat then I can be too!
• Political beliefs.  I am pretty liberal.  Okay I’m ridiculously liberal, essentially a socialist.  Back in my youth I lived by a set of ideals that I would not abandon for even the most dreamy Abercrombie and Fitch model.  Now, as an older, more worldly, wiser 25 year old, I realize I don’t know everything and shouldn’t judge others based on their voting record.  I don’t think I’ll ever vote Republican but I’m willing to consider dating someone who does…if he’s really good looking and willing to buy me shit with the money he saves by not paying taxes that would have otherwise gone to essential services for those in need (okay I’m still convinced I’m right about the importance of supporting those on the lowest rungs of society but as someone who is just now rejoining the working world, I believe I qualify as a lower rung of society, but I also like expensive things and would like a man to buy said expensive things for me.)
• Lisps and other speech impediments.  I used to really value the sound of the letter S.  Not so much anymore.  Being single is worse than being thingle.
• Height.  This is a biggie for me and I’m still in the process of coming to terms with the fact that I may have to date down – I mean literally look down at my dates.  I’m 5’9” and height has thus far been a sticking point when it comes to men.  I refuse to date or even talk to men shorter than me, I really don’t need any more short friends.  But as the pool of available men gets smaller both numerically and vertically, so must my bias against anyone below 6’.  I’m not saying I’m going to date a little person, I’m just saying I might wear flats forever and date a boy that’s 5’11”.
• Peglegs.  Honestly, this is a compromise I’m more than happy to make.  I’ve always thought pirates were oddly alluring so I’m more than happy to part with my previous two leg minimum. *(Note from Meather: I’ve been there. Done that. Not so bad.  Really, Mephanie, this is barely even a compromise.) 
• Friends.  I used to really want to date someone with an active social life.  I have friends I really love and would hope that my partner does too.  As I approach 26 I realize that this is negotiable.  Having a partner with no friends could mean that they have more time available to focus on me.  *(Again, note from Meather: There is nothing wrong with wanting to date someone that is utterly obsessed with you.)

*  Meather inspired today's theme of compromising when she said, "Honestly I would compromise ANYTHING if he was really rich."  Thus her notes on when and where to compromise really are important to this post.