Sneak Peak! Mara's Book of Love: How to Con Your Way Into a Barely Functional Relationship

SNEAK PEAK! Enjoy this exclusive look inside the forthcoming New York Times Best Seller, Mara's Book of Love:  How to Con Your Way Into a Barely Functional Relationship.*

Forward:  Popular books on dating and relationships often lack significant contributions to an overly saturated market.  He's Just Not That Into You, Why Men Love Bitches, I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book:  A Commonsense Guide for Internet Dating.  These popular titles promise to reveal the secrets of successful daters - those good looking, well adjusted men and women that do not rely on internet dating  to find someone willing to have sex with them.  The prototypical dating guide tells its readers that they are the same as the functional dater, that with a little push (provided by the self help guru profiting from consumer lonliness and desperation), they too can have loving relationships.

This is where most dating books fail.  They operate under the erroneous assumption that you are deserving and worthy of love.  That with a little polish and training, you too can navigate the waters of the opposite sex and find a suitable mate that will love you for who you are and not for who you pretend to be.  Mara's Book of Love assumes the opposite.  Mara's Book of Love knows you are damaged and needy, probably about ten pounds overweight and potentially permanently disfigured.  You probably are not the life of the party or able to effectively socialize without alcohol.  You need a book that speaks to your idiosyncrasies and obsessive tendencies.

Mara has tested all of her theories first hand and knows that strict implementation is the only avenue to successful relationships, otherwise you will are destined for a life of thankless solitude.

Mara's Book of Love:  How to Con Your Way Into a Barely Functional Relationship

Chapter 1:  Entitlements

Chapter 2:  Bullying and Withholding - Your Body as a Negotiation Tactic

Chapter 3:  Cheating Your Way Into Monogamy

Chapter 4:  How to Reroute Your Texts to Yourself So You Never Send Outgoing Messages - Unless They Contain the Word "Help"

Chapter 5:  Exploiting Dependency - Demands, Threats and Ultimatums

About the author:  Mara Rebecca Mockshin was born and raised in Canton, Ohio.  A midwestern girl at heart, Mara spent her childhood square dancing with her local Jewish youth group.  An Ohio State grad and current student at Harvard Law School, Mara enjoys quoting her LSAT prep book and eating hummus with her fingers.  An interest in travel has brought Mara all over the world, from Jerusalem to Bangkok, from Cleveland to Washington, D.C., Mara enjoys mingling with the locals and buying Fanta in plastic bags. 

*Chapter titles are the intellectual property of Mara Mockshin, all other written material has been outsourced to blogging, bored friends.  

I Was Gone For a Minute Now I'm Back Let Me Hit It

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a girl who was self involved enough to believe that people would be entertained by her random musings on a totally self indulgent and superfluous blog. This girl, lets call her Mephanie, blogged about life, love and the pursuit of happiness (or the pursuit of entertaining herself at work). Mephanie's blog was an instant hit among blood relatives and childhood friends. Despite taking pleasure in writing her blog, Mephanie was forced to halt blogging activities when she moved to the magical land of London and became busy with school work and a social life. Alas the masses were left wanting more (or so Mephanie believed). Mephanie, being a woman of the people, decided that academia and friends should not be her priorities and certainly should not stop her from blogging. WIth this in mind, she packed up, moved to New York and settled in for a tenure of unemployment which would allow her to blog uninhibited by things like "school work", "actual work" or "day-time TV" (thank god for DVR).