Current master's student seeks employment upon graduation in fall. This is an exciting opportunity to hire a young mind fresh from the manipulation of liberal academic normative values. Potential candidates for employment should be quick learners willing to adapt lowered expectations regarding productivity. Only those offering four day work weeks with flexible hours need apply. Clerical work is not included in repertoire of skills and administrative activities are strictly prohibited. Only substantive tasks that genuinely engage and interest job seeker will be entertained and only in the mornings and early afternoon. The hour following lunch and the hour preceding departure will be spent socializing in office or on internet gossip sites. Full access to the internet is required and acceptance of a constant g-chat presence is preferred.
Special skills include an absolute inability to understand functions of basic technology, a tendency to have tourette's like outbursts of profanity when frustrated and remedial Spanish.
Now accepting applications, to apply please send gift basket and starting salary data.
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